“Guess I got what I deserved…” – that’s what most people usually say at the end of each misfortunate episode of their lives.
Series of art pieces (books, movies, songs, paintings) got me thinking about what people think or even say after all the denial and fighting back ends. Usually we think of ourselves high. And that’s logical – it’s in our nature – to keep the spirit high and to justify the decisions which you make. But why after all the resistance, do we succumb to this feeling that in the end we deserve to be on the losing side? My opinion is that deep inside of us we all see and know the true reasons for our bad actions and expect the consequences to come at some point. We may convince ourselves and the other people around us that the problems do not originate from within our own consciousness.
And with time this feeling grows stronger every day. No, I’m not talking about the people which have mental problems. I reflect upon ordinary people who make mistakes squeezed by the circumstances of everyday life. Especially when the egotism boosts these changes in a person’s character. It’s only natural to feel regret and sadness when one cannot lie about the true nature of his wrongness anymore.
So accepting our own fault has much to do with overcoming the difficulties which weighs on us. And I’m not speaking about that self blaming attitude. We need to face our own failure and live with it, trying to be better than before. But how can one confess his fault and keep his emotional balance for a long period of time? It’s hard. It’s unnatural to combine regret with positivism at the same time. But we can do that. We can achieve this metamorphosis by accepting that we were, are and probably still will be fallacious. If we can forfeit our ambition to think of ourselves as good or bad, we can see and take advantage of the true colors of our psyche. We are nothing short of evolutionary material. And our nature is in constant change which goes to say that if a person doesn’t accept his life as a non linear story, but more as a tangle of overlapping routes, it will be easier for him to cross lines and get back to them.
We have to stop viewing our personal storyline through the lenses of our mortality…